Does damage reflection even apply to air support? I never noticed... I am fairly certain it does not.
About accedentally shooting team mates, yes. It will happen. The system can not distinguish between an unpreventable accedent and intentional or completely moronic behaviour. However, if it happens a lot, then you are the problem. Keep in mind that your first shots, and even your first team kill is not reflected. So if you frequently get killed from your own team shootings, then you shoot a lot of team mates. And frankly, I don't care if it is accedental. If my team mates keep shooting me because they are incompetent, then I'd rather have them kill themselves until they learn or leave.
Your flashlight reflection scenario is not completely clear to me. Of course it must be tested anyway. I didn't imagine that an NV player would feel the need to stare into a flashlight. But a potential fix for that is to apply flashlight reflection only if the flashlight user is turning their flashlight towards the NV player, and not if the NV player is turning towards the flashlight. In any case, it must be tested.
By the way, I only play on hardcore mode. Maybe player behaviour is a little different already on that mode because your examples don't really happen that often to me. If you play on the arcade servers, then yes, it is going to be arcade. But then don't complain that it isn't hardcore enough.